Blessed to Bless! by Steve Klusmeyer

Quotes to Remember

Home	Writings by Steve	Quotes to Remember	Pictures with a Story
Life's FAQs	Writings by Others	Newsletter Subscription	Contact Steve

What if the Hokey Pokey is all it really is about?
-Jimmy Buffett

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
-Steve Martin

Save the world … it's the only planet with chocolate.
-Unknown

"Retirement should be based on the tread, not the mileage."
-Allen Ludden

"Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle."
-Amy Bloom

"Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped."
-African Proverb

"Don't just throw the seed at the people! Grind it into flour, bake it into bread, and slice it for them. And it wouldn't hurt to put a little honey on it."
-Charles Spurgeon

The most important thing in any relationship is not what you get but what you give.
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Give not from the top of your purse but from the bottom of your heart.
-Unknown

Don't give 'til it hurts — give 'til it feels good.
-Unknown

I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way.
-Franklin P. Adams

A man's worst enemies can't wish on him what he can think up himself.
-Yiddish Proverb

Life may not be the party we hoped for … but while we are here we might as well dance!
-Unknown

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.
-George Carlin

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.
-Stacia Tauscher

By the time we realize our parents were right, we have children who think we're wrong.
-Guillermo Hernandez

If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.
-Laurence J. Peter

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
-Andy Rooney

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
-Unknown

Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
-Unknown

Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
-Unknown

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
-Unknown

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
-Unknown

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
-Unknown

Never buy a car you can't push.
-Unknown

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don't have a leg to stand on.
-Unknown

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
-Unknown

The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.
-Unknown

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
-Unknown

Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.
-Unknown

You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
-Unknown

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
-Unknown

Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.
-Unknown

We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors but they all have to learn to live in the same box.
-Unknown

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
-Unknown

Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
-Unknown

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
-Unknown

When it's time to die, let us not discover that we have never lived.
-Henry David Thoreau

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of childhood into maturity.
-Thomas Henry Huxley

What small potatoes we all are, compared with what we might be!
-Charles Dudley Warner

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs … jolted by every pebble in the road.
-Henry Ward Beecher

I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
-Unknown

Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.
-Unknown

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he is buying.
-Fran Lebowitz

A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog.
-Jack London

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
-Mark Twain

Life can be marvellous. Try not to miss it!
-Unknown

There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.
-Charles Schulz

There's no such thing as a bad day when there's a doorknob on the inside of the door.
-Commander Paul Galanti

How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.
-Henry David Thoreau

Too much agreement kills a chat.
-Eldridge Cleaver

None are so empty as those who are full of themselves.
-Andrew Jackson

When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him.
-Michael

Love may not make the world go round, but I must admit that it makes the ride worthwhile.
-Sean Connery

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.
-Judith Viorst

One advantage of marriage, it seems to me, is that when you fall out of love with him, or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until maybe you fall in again.
-Judith Viorst

Falling in love … I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful.
-Manuel (age 8 )

Falling in love is like an avalanche where you have to run for your life.
-John (age 9)

If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long.
-Glenn (age 7)

Love is foolish … but I still might try it sometime.
-Floyd (age 9)

Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me.
-Dave (age 8)

We're having creative differences. I'm creative, you're different!
-Unknown

Diplomacy is to do and say the nastiest thing in the nicest way.
-Isaac Goldberg

You never know when you're making a memory.
-Rickie Lee Jones

So often we overlook the important while attending to the urgent.
-Unknown

Too many couples marry for better or for worse, but not for good.
-Unknown

When a man marries a woman, they become one but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
-Unknown

A fool judges people by the presents they give him.
-Chinese Proverb

Something to Think About:

It is wise to remember that you are one of those who can be fooled some of the time.
-Laurence J. Peter

Do not punish me by granting that which I wish or ask.
-Max Lucado

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
-Unknown

Always do stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
-Unknown

Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
-Unknown

What the mother sings to the cradle goes all the way down to the coffin.
-Henry Ward Beecher

I am not young enough to know everything.
-Oscar Wilde

The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
-Paul Fix

When I'm driving here I see a sign that says, CAUTION: SMALL CHILDREN PLAYING. I slow down, and then it occurs to me, I'm not afraid of small children.
-Jonathan Katz

640K ought to be enough for anybody.
-Bill Gates (in 1981)

My mind works like lightning - - - One brilliant flash and it's gone.
-Unknown

I have a short attention - - - What?
-Unknown

I'm destined for greatness - - - I'm just pacing myself.
-Unknown

I've gone to find myself. If I get back before I've found me, please keep me here.
-Unknown

Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.
-Unknown

Please note that letting fireworks off in the hotel guestrooms is strictly prohibited.
-sign in Hyatt Regency

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.
-Bill Vaughn

If it seems a childish thing to do, do it in remembrance that you are a child.
-Frederick Buechner

A great many open minds should be closed for repairs.
-Toledo Blade

Esse Quam Videri - To Be, Rather Than To Appear
-Unknown

To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.
-Thomas A. Edison

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.
-Dudley Moore

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
-Rita Rudner

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say 'thank you'?
-William A. Ward

Just remember, when you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.
-Charles Schulz

It was said of Henry Ward Beecher that no one ever felt the full force of his kindness until he did Beecher an injury.
-Harry Fosdick

Sometimes the difficulties God takes you through are not for you but for somebody else- for someone who is watching you and seeing how you react to and handle something.
-J. R. Ricks

Adolescence is a kind of emotional seasickness. Both are funny, but only in retrospect.
-Arthur Koestler

If you could say it in words there would be no reason to paint.
-Edward Hopper

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
-Peter De Vries

It is not necessary for eagles to be crows.
-Sitting Bull

Life is too short to make an over serious business out of it.
-Lin Yutang
Eternity is too long not to make a serious business out of it.
-added by Steve

Wear your learning like a pocket watch and keep it hidden. Do not pull it out to count the hours, but give the time when you are asked.
-Philip Dormer Stanhope

You can accomplish anything in life, provided that you do not mind who gets the credit.
-Harry S. Truman

A bird in the hand makes it difficult to blow your nose.
-Unknown

The great man is he who does not lose his child's heart.
-Mencius

The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.
-Chinese Proverb

There are many ways to measure success; not the least of which is the way your child describes you when talking to a friend.
-Martin Buxbaum

The things I want to know are in books; my best friend is the man who'll get me a book I ain't read."
-Abraham Lincoln

My wife says we do "natural" housekeeping in our home, because nature abhors a vacuum, right?
-Unknown

If all else fails, stop using all else.
-Unknown

Men may play the game, but women know the score.
-Unknown

If your mind goes blank, don't forget to turn off the sound.
-Unknown

If at first you don't succeed, try again, then quit. No use being stupid about it.
-Unknown

In any organization there will always be one person who really knows what's going on. This person must be fired!
-Unknown

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
-Rita Rudner

Ever consider what dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
-Anne Tyler

A word to the wise isn't necessary; it is the stupid ones who need all the advice.
-Bill Cosby

This is the earliest I've ever arrived late!
-Yogi Berra

"JUSTICE: When our kids have their own kids!"
-Unknown

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
-Robert Benchley

Proverbs by First Graders
Received from Bill's Punch Line

We all learn by experience but some of us have to go to summer school.
-Peter de Vries

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
-Fran Lebowitz

Sometimes I have my quiet time before I wake up in the morning.
-Unknown

All great discoveries are made by mistake.
-Unknown

I have noticed that nothing I never said ever did me any harm.
-Calvin Coolidge

You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
-Unknown

The trouble with talking too fast is you may say something you haven't thought of yet.
-Ann Landers

When I was young we used to go skinny dipping, now I just chunky dunk.
-Unknown

Some pursue happiness - others create it.
-Unknown

A gentleman need not know Latin, but he should at least have forgotten it.
-Brander Matthews
(I've forgotten Latin, Greek, and Spanish. -Steve)

Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.
-Unknown

Don't be afraid to go on an occasional wild goose chase. That's what wild geese are for.
-Unknown

The difference between adults and children is that adults don't ask questions.
-American Proverb

Children are not things to be molded, but are people to be unfolded.
-Jess Lair

I've learned that an insatiable curiosity is important to never feeling old.
-Unknown (age 79)

I've learned that marrying for money is the hardest way of getting it.
-Unknown (age 42)

I've learned that parents are very hard to live with.
-Unknown (age 12)

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
-Unknown

Education is what you have left over after you have forgotten everything you've learned.
-Unknown

Chase your passion, not your pension.
-Edward James Olmos

None are so empty as those who are full of themselves.
-Andrew Jackson

Every morning, I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
-Robert Orben

You don't know how much you don't know until your children grow up and tell you how much you don't know.
-S. J. Perelman

Nothing makes you more tolerant of a neighbor's noisy party than being there.
-Franklin P. Adams

We can't always control what happens to us, but we can always control how we react to it.
-Robert Urich

To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am.
-Bernard Baruch

Truth at its worst is better than a cover-up at its best.
-David Grubbs

If we practice an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole world will be blind and toothless.
-Mahatma Ghandi

I was like a boy playing on the seashore, and diverting myself now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.
-Isaac Newton

We are all geniuses up to the age of ten.
-Aldous Huxley

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
-Abraham Lincoln

Television has raised writing to a new low.
-Samuel Goldwyn

Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
-Samuel Butler

I do beseech you to direct your efforts more to preparing youth for the path and less to preparing the path for the youth.
-Ben Lindsey

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
-Fred Allen

Some people are like slinkies … not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
-Unknown

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter."
-Andy Rooney

That they may have a little peace, even the best dogs are compelled to snarl occasionally.
-William Feather

One of the annoying things about believing in free choice and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your problems on. And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable how often his picture turns up on your driver's license.
-P.J. O'Rourke

My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.
-George Washington

I have a new philosophy. I am only going to dread one day at a time.
-Charlie Brown

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "My, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"
-Dave Barry

A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car.
-Kenneth Tynan

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
-Walter Winchell

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
-Robert A. Heinlein

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
-Unknown

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn by no other way.
-Mark Twain

Humor is the chocolate chips in the ice cream of life.
-Barbara Johnson

Be glad of life, because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up to the stars.
-Henry van Dyke

Laughing helps. It's like jogging on the inside.
-Unknown

One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
-Unknown

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
-Unknown

One of the greatest tragedies of life is the murder of a beautiful theory by a gang of brutal facts.
-Benjamin Franklin

To those who need encouragement, remember this: Beware of quitting too soon. Dr. Suess' first children's book was rejected by 23 publishers. The 24th publisher sold 6 million copies.
-Ann Landers

I don't understand why everyone is so pressured because of the war. It does not seem to me that there will be anything. That one, with the mustache, will not do anything, and for sure not with the gas that everyone says he has, and if he only tries, then for sure the Americans and the British will intervene. And in general, even if now it is not so good here and there is a little inflation, still there is no better place for the Jews than this country.
-Zepora Shwartz

Minds are like parachutes--they work best when open.
-Thomas R. Dewar

I will not play Tug-o-War, I'd rather play Hug-o-War.
Where everyone hugs, instead of tugs,
And everyone giggles and rolls on the rug.
Where everyone kisses, And everyone grins;
Everyone cuddles, And everyone wins.
-Shel Silverstein

The suddenness of the provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man; it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am.
-C. S. Lewis

It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.
-John Wooden

My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.
-Oprah Winfrey

A man who works with his hands is a laborer; a man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman; but a man who works with his hands and his brain and his heart is an artist.
-Louis Nizer

Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use.
-Charles Schulz

Comedy is tragedy...plus time.
-Carol Burnett

When you are scared, the trick is not to rid your stomach of butterflies, but to make them fly in formation.
-Unknown

Gentlemen, why don't you laugh? With the fearful strain that is upon me night and day, if I did not laugh, I should die.
-Abraham Lincoln

The man who will not act until he knows all will never act at all.
-Jim Elliot

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston Churchill

The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him he's always doing both.
-James Michener

Many go to their grave with their music still inside of them.
-Unknown

It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
-Albus Dumbledore

Earn all you can, give all you can, save all you can.
-John Wesley

One person with a belief is equal to a force of ninety-nine who only have interest.
-John Stuart Mill

Courage is not limited to the battlefield or the Indianapolis 500 or bravely catching a thief in your house. The real tests of courage are much quieter. They are the inner tests, like remaining faithful when nobody's looking, like enduring pain when the room is empty, like standing alone when you're misunderstood.
-Charles Swindoll

Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith.
-Henry Ward Beecher

A person can succeed at anything for which there is enthusiasm.
-Charles M. Schwab

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one thing.
-Abraham Lincoln

What small potatoes we all are, compared with what we might be!
-Charles Dudley Warner

Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
-Lily Tomlin

One may go wrong in many different ways, but right only in one.
-Aristotle

Truth does not become more true by virtue of the fact that the entire world agrees with it, nor less so even if he whole world disagrees with it.
-Maimonides

The universe is one of God's thoughts.
-Johann Schiller

None but a theology that came out of eternity can carry you and me safely to and through eternity.
-Theodore L. Cuyler

Many a man preaches Christ but gets in front of him by the multiplicity of his own works. It will be your ruin if you do! Christ can do without your works, what he wants is you. Yet if he really has you he will have all your works - It is possible to be so active in the service of Christ as to forget to love him.
-P. T. Forsyth